Planning a Child? Read Why Children Are Expensive and How You Can Afford Them

I know that calling a child "expensive" will turn off many readers out there.

The most common retort will be that "there are things that money can't buy"- but before you draw any further conclusions- by expensive I don't just mean the money.

Financially Expensive

Being a "money nerd", the cost of raising a child of course will be the first on my list. Plan a kid only if you can take some break from your careers, more so for the women. "Woke" people may say that raising a child is equal responsibility for both the parents but I disagree a bit.

For the 1st year of life, the responsibility is heavily tilted in favor of the mother- because the father cannot breastfeed the baby.

Formula feeds are available and it's a matter of personal choice but all medical research agrees on the fact that breastmilk is the best food for the baby so much so that for the initial 6 months all the baby needs is breastmilk, not even water.

Next comes the cost of raising a child. The Economic Times in a report published in 2011, estimates the cost of raising a child from birth till 21 years of age for a middle-income family to be around 55 lakhs INR.

It's quite evident that the monthly expenses will increase significantly, and it will keep on increasing as the child grows.

Plus with the rise of social media and consumerism in general, people are hiking the expenses even more and buying stuff for the baby which are not essential at all. Your baby doesn't need to look like a ramp walk model at home. If you have decent clothes from a kid in the family who is 1-2 years older, use them, at least for regular use inside your homes.

Another example is buying vaccinations from the market when they are being provided for free in government hospitals, by nurses far more experienced in vaccinations than private clinics.

Physically Expensive

Sorry ladies- here again, most of the problems pertain to women.

Having a child puts a lot of stress on the female body.

The ideal gap between children as per WHO should be a minimum of 2 years, which is the time taken by the female body to recover from the rigors of the previous pregnancy.

When I look back at my parent's generation I am shocked to see how easily they had 5-6 children. Move a generation back, to your grandparents' time, you'll even find families with 10-11 children.

Having worked in government hospitals I still see people having more than 3 children just to have a male child (we still have a lot to grow up as a society).

Women have an inbuilt biological clock that keeps on ticking and forces them to think about childbirth more than males, because after 35 years of age fertility in general decreases, and the frequency of fetal abnormalities increases.

New methods of delaying childbirth like ovum freeze are being used by some privileged women but the cost and success rate are still issues there.

Emotionally Expensive

This is the most ignored aspect of all three.

Have a child only when both parents are emotionally ready.

NEVER plan a child when the relationship itself is turbulent. The old adage by parents and relatives like "a child will sort out all the problems between you two" doesn't work.

The child doesn't deserve to see domestic violence, lack of love between parents, or extramarital affairs. He needs both parents to be available.

These things have been so much ignored till now that right now we have a generation full of traumatized adults, and most of the source of trauma being past childhood experiences.

Then there is postpartum psychosis/depression, wherein the mother suffers from a mental condition and tries to kill herself or her baby. Fortunately this is rare, but still needs to be identified early and properly treated.

Conclusions

I know this article seems a very pessimistic approach towards having a child, but my intentions are just to make people aware of how to prepare for welcoming a new life.

I believe that kids are indeed a blessing to couples, and I perfectly well understand that not all the above checkboxes can be ticked.

However, we should strive to be in good health, in good financial condition, and in a loving relationship with our partners before we bring a kid into the equation.

Thank you for reading. These being my personal opinions, I welcome any criticism.

Regards,

Dr. Zeeshan.

Know more about me here.